FIT FIVE

This blog is a quick overview of my five years of being fit. You will see my body go through multiple changes, from feeling my best to feeling my absolute worse. I hope while reading this you will see that my journey has not been easy, but honestly most journeys are not easy. A lot of times people come in on the parts of your journey when its glamorous. When honestly there are a lot of blood, sweat, and tears especially on my journey. I wanted to share my story because I hope it encourages someone to say if she can do it…then I know I can too. And you really can, you just have to have the Push to start and the willingness to go Through it. (You see what I did there, Push Through.) So, enjoy the walk down memory lane with me on a health journey that will never end.

December 2015

I started on a journey that five years later that I will never regret beginning. It can be difficult to admit you need help, but I realized I did after two children and still struggling with losing weight. This is why I decided to get a trainer, Ricky Dortch (Ambishun Fitness) to help me start this forever journey. Prior to getting a trainer, my weight would fluctuate, I would starve myself, drink teas, take certain diet supplements…..but that’s because I did not know anything about the proper nutrition I needed for my body. Also, I was taking five blood pressure pills a day and taking a continuous birth control to help decrease the pain of my endometriosis. As, I am writing this I feel like a lot of odds were against me in being successful in my journey to being healthy. But, I did not allow that to stop me from changing my life and taking control over the conditions meant to hold me back.

This was not easy for me to send to my trainer because it is difficult for me to show someone my flaws. I would disguise my flaws by posing in certain angles, or starving myself to fit that dress….so who actually knew I was tucking away all this extra weight. But, I was ready to start my journey the right way, so I knew I could not hide the parts of me I was unhappy with the most. So first picture taken with a whole lot of transforming to come.

  December 2016

This was a year of transforming. I posted my first transformation, and I was so happy with my results. I was most proud of myself because I actually was doing something for me to better me. Just a little back story….I was working as an Assistant Director for a childcare center, I was in school getting my Masters, and being a boy mom to my sons who at that time were 6 and 3. I had a full plate, but I found time for my health and planned to get fit. I was turning 30, and I accomplished my goal to look fine for this new phase in my life. In the mist of all that me and my trainer started dating. With that being said, I was always learning and watching him which I became so intrigued by fitness. I was interested in learning more about my body and what worked and did not work for me. Instead of just doing as he told me to do, I would ask questions and he took the time to teach me a whole lot about overall health. I was always watching him during his classes or learning from him studying. But fitness was becoming truly a part of my every day life. I walked into Chapter 30 just like I wanted to, but I wasn’tfinished at all. I was over the first hump of starting, now I wanted to know in what other ways could my body change. Let me throw out this disclaimer: NOBODY EVER TELLS YOU THAT YOU HAVE GAINED WEIGHT! I look back on pictures and I am like so seriously nobody loved me. But it wasn’t really about anybody else loving me…it was my job to love me and make the necessary changes to show myself I did. By this time your girl was hooked on that fit life and it was no turning back.

December 2017-2018

These two years to me were awesome when it came to my journey. I finished school in March of 2017, so I had all the time in the world to train. My whole life consisted of working out. I was living the life…. I left like. I was stress free for the most part, and things just seemed to be going right in my life. 2018, I started my blog and my Natural Fit Mom Instagram page. Fitness was already my life, but sharing my fitness journey with others became important to me. These two years I just felt free. You ever get that feeling that everything is going too right….meaning something bad is about to happen. Let’s just say these two years physically I was great but mentally, I had a lot of things that were about to occur to really switch my gears. Towards the end of 2018, I kind of watched my life start to change and not in a good way. A break up occurred that honestly had me kind of lost when it came to fitness. I had only done fitness with this one person, how do I pick this up alone. At that moment, I really didn’t believe in myself to stay active by myself. I only knew fitness one way. But when God wants you to grow and believe in him….he will make you uncomfortable. On December 20, 2018 I posted my first workout video by myself. I got over 2,000 likes….and I was afraid to post again. But this truly was the beginning to something great, that I just couldn’t see at the time. But God was working it out. God truly had a plan.

This year was so rough. I would be lying if I did not say, “I WANTED TO GIVE UP ON MYSELF.” I was in a horrible car wreck January 1st. This caused me to have pain in my right ankle and left wrist. I still have pains from time to time due to what my body endured. I gained a lot of weight…..like 180lbs of weight was on this 5’2 frame. The thing that hurt me the most was I had the body I wanted and now it is gone. I worked so hard and now my body is gone. Honestly, my body could have been completely gone if I had lost my life that night. (This is why you have to be thankful and find the good in all the wrong that occurs.) I was still dealing with a break up, some personal issues with self, and it was literally all taking a toll on me. This was really the year I decided to be transparent about things I was dealing with in my life. I realized I could not keep my testimony to myself. That is not what God wanted. So, I began to open up about my endometriosis, my struggles with self love, staying consistent with working out, being a mom, just everything. I got my weight off thanks to Ricky training me and dealing with my complications from my wreck. Sadly, I put the weight back on, and I got it off, and I put it back on. In 2019, I was involved in three car wrecks. My last car wreck was December 2019, and I was rear ended. This wreck caused me to see a chiropractor and receive therapy. I was on an emotional rollercoaster in every area of my life. I felt like I had no control over anything. However, you never know how many people you can touch by sharing and being your true self. My weight this year I battled with it. It was really up and down, and most of the year I felt myself being down about it. I was tearing my own self down every day while trying to uplift the world. I had to step back and do a lot of self reflecting this year. My journey had switched totally from physical to mental. Because this year my mental and physical just was not on the same page.

December 2020

A Pandemic hits…..and boy did it send your girl into a deep depression. I was already not happy with my weight and now I am forced to workout at home. It was days I felt like my walls were closing in on me. I still had my job, my family was fine, but I was stressing about all those that were hurting. I was working out every day, but getting maybe 3 hours of sleep, my eating was very limited, and I was honestly just sad. It didn’tmatter that I was working out because all the other factors played a negative role in me losing weight. Instead I started holding on to the weight. People think that working out is the only thing you have to do to be fit and healthy. Being healthy is truly about how you eat, are you resting, your mental well-being , your emotional state, all that plays a huge part in your health. I started doing yoga and meditating to help me with my mental health. I even began to journal to get rid of the negative thoughts I was having. Once, I got into a better mental space, I was ready to give my all to my fit journey again. Me and Ricky got back in the lab, and he put me through a 6 week program. I went from 180-168 because of his knowledge. I was on a strict diet and my workouts were planned perfectly. All I had to do was follow his program and I did. I was so happy to see my body transform and mentally I was in the perfect space to listen to do what needed to be done to get there. You may not see it but sometimes you are not seeing any progress because mentally you are not connected to your body. Working out for me is not something I hate to do because I love my body. I love having the energy to be able to workout, that my joints and body still can move, that I can lose boy fat and gain muscle, I can be a Lady Beast…those things make me want to go harder for my body. Right now, the mental space that I am in, I truly know my body can go to any level I choose to take it. I love this space that I am in, and honestly the same pandemic that had me depressed taught me how to love myself more, be gentle with myself more, and take care of me first.

Final Words

It has been a long time coming…..yet I am still coming. I realized on this journey it is more about being happy with who I am than what I see. As a woman, I am going to have days I am bloated, my breast seem super saggy and small, my stretch marks have a brighter glow than usual…..but that doesn’t stop the beautiful mind, spirit, and heart I have. One day of not feeling my best does not take away from the consistency I put in each day I get up to workout, I meal prep, I meditate and pray, I journal, and the time I take out for my selfcare. So many timeswe can equate healthy to being a physical look. You know how many unhealthy fine people are in this world. But to be mentally strong to say, “Today may not be my best day, but I am going to get up and keep pushing for a better me.” or “Girl your stomach may be bloated but that smile on your face will light a room.” It is all about changing the narrative and finding the positive in yourself. I work out each day because my body loves me for it. I eat healthy foods because my body loves me for it, I refrain from indulging in negative self talk because my body loves being feed with positive things. 5 years and I can truly say I am at my healthiest yet. Being mentally healthy is the real prize, then you will see everything else fall into place. The way you feel about yourself on the inside reflects how you carry yourself on the outside. My body deserves the best so I am going to give it the best. That doesn’t mean I don’t have fun or indulge in my favorite treats and adult beverages. (Trust me I love a good turn up.) But you know what I love more than anything….being healthy and instilling healthy habits into my children. So, if there is anything you can take away from this blog is your journey is just that a journey. Get a trainer or talk to someone that can guide you in the right direction in what is best for your body. Surround yourself with people who are about bettering themselves in all areas of their life. (The goal is overall health!) Do not get discouraged because what works for someone else does not work for you. Your journey is not meant to be like anyone else. It is your journey! It won’t always be pretty, it won’t always feel good, but it is worth every effort you put into it. YOU ARE WORTH THAT! Each day wake up and say I am going to find one way to better myself today, then do it!

“It’s hard to hate your body when you take care of it.”

Life~Love~Lift